I am such a fraud
I live in a shell of love
I speak of being alive
I believe we live again
Yet inside is the little girl
Who was never good enough
She tried so hard to be good
But she always fell short somehow
As she grew up she build the shell
She learned how to smile
And gave generously to get love
She became a mother and a wife
But she couldn't be a wife
For there was such a dead spot inside
She could overcome it with booze
She could lost weight and be sexy
But she was still a fraud
She could give her children love
But now one son says she gave to much
She would die for her boys
But she didn't learn to live for them
Twenty years she lived as a wife for 2 men
She worked hard, kept a clean home
Tried to fill the hollow that filled her
But she was still a fraud
She learned to love the little girl
Lost inside of her
But she was still empty
As she grew older she studied life
And found beliefs she could live with
But even though she believed
As best she was able
She kept losing herself in the hole
And she was still a fraud
For though she can fill herself with love
And make the world a better place
It never lasts so long that the girl inside
Cries out help me, help me
There is only herself to listen
For whatever she does it isn't enough
And she will always be a fraud.

Lynda Leigh (c)
 8-25-02